The galaxy was guarded once again this weekend while Arthur’s sword got stuck in the stone and Amy Schumer didn’t snatch up as much as she probably hoped. I don’t think anyone is surprised that Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 took the top spot again this week, with a $65 million haul that left everything else in another galaxy by over $45 million. But enough about Guardians (I could talk about it all day); let’s look at the movies it totally destroyed at the box office.

Snatched took the number two spot with just under $20 million, but the reviews were as lukewarm as a margarita left in the sun for two hours. It was written by Katie Dippold of The Heat and Parks and Rec fame, and directed by Jonathan Levine, who gave us the excellent 50/50 and a few other lesser-quality flicks, so one might hope this movie would be better than it is. Granted, the premise alone isn’t funny at all (a mother-daughter pair get kidnapped in South America when they’re no longer in the safe United States of White People) and Amy Schumer really can’t hold her own in a comedy like this that lacks the heart of Trainwreck (and likely Apatow’s directing, too) when her “I’m not attractive, look how ugly I am and also I like drinking” schtick runs dry after 30 seconds.

In a world where lady-led comedies are finally on the rise (because women are funny, in case you’re stuck in the past and didn’t know this), it’s a shame that we still have to sift through stuff like this instead of snatching it away before it hits theaters.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword took the third spot with just over $15 million and similarly lukewarm reviews as Snatched, with critics calling it fast and weird and nonsensical. Not to mention that it’s a fool’s errand to try to dethrone a movie as good and widely appealing as Guardians with an experimental medieval action film the week after Baby Groot swooped in and made the Mouse a heap of money. Now personally, I live for ridiculous fantasy movies, so I’ll definitely be seeing King Arthur and I’ll probably love it far more than I’ll admit in public, but it’s obvious that Guardians draws in more people and will continue to do so in the coming weeks.

Speaking of which, let’s look ahead to this weekend!

Everything, Everything comes out to milk money out of the Fault in Our Stars teenage crowd, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul will draw families and repel everyone else, and Alien: Covenant will either revive a well-loved franchise or disappoint millions.

But unfortunately, we won’t be covering any of it, as this is the final entry in our Making Dollars and Sense series before we put it to bed for a very long nap. It’s been a fun journey for the past year. We’ve grown a lot, both as creators and consumers of film, and we want to thank every one of you who followed this series for so long. Keep an eye out for all of the exciting things we’ve got planned in the future, because there are plenty!

And one more thing: just because we’re putting this series to rest doesn’t mean we won’t be seeing movies every weekend, and the same should go for you too. Movies are important for an abundance of reasons, including but not limited to: an escapist break from the world’s problems, a way to express thoughts and feelings that we otherwise cannot through any other means, and perhaps most importantly, as a mirror for the world we live in, a platform to include the oppressed and invisible until they are no longer seen as “the other,” to stand for something good and right, and a way to bring new ideas into the minds and hearts of all who view them, using rapid images and light to plant the seeds of change for a better world. So take a risk and go see movies you don’t think you’d ever see – it could change your life!

From all of us here at ShadowShine, thanks again for watching, and this has been Making Dollars and Sense at the Box Office!

-Adam Stutsman

Comment